Surrender
by velocirachel
Summary: That glass wall between them went up and down, severing them from each other. He can tell she suffocates in there, but it's her only defense. Making her surrender is the only way to save the both of them from her. Beck/Jade :  Rated M for sexy times!
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: Victorious is not mine, much to my displeasure.**

It's never been easy with her. Every little thing sets her off. She's become so defensive, perceiving everything as an attack against her. No one can understand why I love her, why I've stayed as long as I have. Even worse, no one understands why she is the way she is, why she loads her every word with blades and malice. But then again, they wouldn't, would they? Because no one can see what I see. And no one ever will.

_I'm outside _

Tori opened the door for me, glowing with a radiant energy that I've come to love, but in a sisterly way.

"You're late," she said angrily, but still with a smile on her face. She gave me a quick hug, and I could've sworn I heard a slight sigh as my arms reciprocated. I knew she had a crush on me since her first day, since she spilt coffee on me. I'll admit, the glow her eyes had when they first met mine as she tried to wipe the coffee off me, was electrifying. It made my heart skip a little. Then, we I had turned to see Jade, my entire body had sunk. There was a flicker of pain, deep in her eyes, deep in her soul. More apparent was the anger. But the worst part was the deadpan look she hid it all behind, that glassy wall she would always place between her and the world. To think of the time and energy it had taken to get between her and that wall, to see her surrender her defenses, just to see that wall put up again because of Tori… It was a feeling I couldn't handle.

I tore myself away form those thoughts and back to reality.

"I know, I know. I'm sorry! I had to pick up some medicine for my mom," I said slinging my backpack on the couch in her living room. Her house always smelt sweet, almost sickly so. It made my head spin, so I headed to the kitchen where the smell was masked by the lingering scents of cooking and the breeze sweeping in through the window.

"Aw, what's wrong with her?" said Tori, pouring out glasses of lemonade. She always made lemonade when she knew I was coming.

"Nothing serious, just a little cold. You'd think she had the plague the way she complains though," I said sighing and draining half my glass of the cool, tart liquid. "Where are the others?"

"Oh Andre's in the bathroom and Cat…" she said, stopping suddenly. "Uh…"

"You don't know?" I asked, and started to chuckle.

"She… I… she was here a second before you got here!" Tori said, bursting into laughter.

"Triiiiiii-NNNAAAAA! AHHHHHH!" Suddenly, Cat came dashing down the stairs, cheeks flushed, and panting.

"She's… ahh… Trina… TORI! Your sister's trying to KILL me!" Cat squeaked out, pushing me and Tori together and cowering behind us both. Tori and I fell into laughing fits as Trina stormed down the stairs, electricity flying out of her.

"Trina! Please stop trying to kill my friends!" Tori said, her laughter subsiding. Her arm brushed against mine, and lingered. I focused straight ahead, scared to find out if it was on purpose or not.

"That little red rat called me fat!" Trina roared, a shoe in her hand, ready to strike poor little Cat. Another squeak escaped from behind me and Tori.

"Hey Trina… that rhymed," Tori said with a smile. She looked at me, and I laughed too, with nothing else to say. I felt my phone buzz in my pocket. I ignored it at first, but when it persisted, I realized it was a call and quickly fished it out. I looked at the screen.

"Jade," I said quickly. I pressed to answer it, expecting her to scream, to accuse me of not wanting to be with her, anything other then what happened. The first sound I heard was sobbing and then strangled sounds; she was trying to talk but she was crying too hard. I felt my body go numb; that sound was a rare one but it broke me nonetheless.

"Jade, what's wrong?" I said, trying to stay calm, but already running towards where my backpack lay slumped on the couch. The sounds of laughter and arguing behind me heavily veiled the air, making hearing hard. I slipped into my leather jacket as I listened to my Jade try to string together coherence through her grief.

"Beck… please… just… over… please… please… need yooooou!" she said, wailing the final word. My heart raced faster as my adrenaline began to pump. I grabbed my car keys as I hung up the phone.

The girls were still arguing and I was in a hurry, so I decided they'd be fine with me not saying goodbye. I could always text Tori later, tell her what had happened. The door was about to click closed behind me when I heard Tori's voice.

_Sorry Tori but please not right now._

"Beck. Wait."

**Author's Note: Yeah, I know not so exciting so far but hey, fanfictions, much like a fine wine, improve with age. Or so I'm telling myself. Annnnyway, I know the way it starts off seems very Beck/Tori but NO! It is very much Bade. You know why? Because FUCK Tori, that's why. So, yeah. Review, and tell me whatcha think and give me ideas if you feel so inclined to do so. Cause I'm really just running blindly into this.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own Victorious… for your own protection ;)**

"Beck. Wait."

"Tori, I'm sorry. I have to go see Jade," I said, my adrenaline still pumping fast as ever. _Her cry… I know that sound. I know what it must mean. _"I'll be back to help you guys as soon as I can ok?" I tried to muster a smile, but it felt fragile and fake, and she could tell.

"Beck… Jade can wait," she said, lightly grabbing my arm. I could almost feel the look she gave me shaking my body, and giving me chills. As every day passed, I trust this girl less and less.

"No, I don't think she can."

"Beck… Why do you even love her? I mean she's so mean to you and you're so nice, it just doesn't make any sense!"

My blood felt cold. My senses were muted and fuzzy, making my mind do lazy turns on itself. I knew everyone thought it. It was the elephant in the room whenever me and Jade fought, the question on everyone's mind, but never, NEVER, on their lips. Tori was brave, and I was angry. The air was thick and dirty with tension.

"Tori," I said, trying to keep my voice level, but with difficultly; I was miles away form my own voice, I was cradling Jade already. "Please. Never. Ask that. Ever again."

She looked hurt. She was biting her lip and looking at the ground. Her fingers twisted into each other, and her eyes told of thoughts racing wildly.

"Beck… I… I just thought—"

"I know what you thought. And I'm telling you it's none of your business ok? Let me worry about Jade." I started toward my truck; I had already wasted precious time. My mind flickered to Jade who was drenched in salt. Salt that only I could make disappear.

"But… I'm worried about you. Beck, you… You deserve better."

Those three words made me stop dead in my tracks. I felt the anger down in my toes, in my fingers, making them fiery and filling me with blind heat. With everything I had, I tried to keep my composure.

"Tori. We will talk later," I said coldly, leaving her with nothing but ice and emptiness. Tori Vega would have to wait, because for once in her life, this couldn't be about her.

"_Beck!" Jade cried, her face glistening with rapture. In her heads was a tiny black kitten, making meowing sounds and licking her hands. A giggle, yes he had heard right, a small giggle escaped her lips as she brought the kitten closer to her. She closed her eyes tranquilly, and she seemed more at peace than she must've been her entire life. Her eyelids rose open slowly, and stayed lazily half open. _

"_I can't believe you did this," she said, her voice little and light. She had no need for her strong, stage-like voice when she was with me. I was always close enough to hear her, even when she was just at a whisper. I pulled her into my arms, her hair getting tangled around my neck and face. I breathed in, my head swimming from the scent of Raspberry incense and peppermint. Musky, sweet, and cool, all at the same time; the smell was enough to drive me wild. I tilted her face gently to my own and she kissed me slowly and passionately. Her smile remained on her face and I could feel it on my own lips as I tasted her. I pulled from her, and wrapped her, still snuggling the cat, with my arms._

"_So, what are you thinking of naming it" I said, as I traced circles on her hand, her creamy skin slippery and smooth. She was quiet for a moment, her eyes closed. She wore almost no makeup, just a little mascara, and the image was beautiful._

"_Moonshine," she sighed, scratching the kitten under the chin, drawing a tiny mewing sound from it. The cat began to knead Jade's stomach and settled in for a nap. I looked at her and laughed._

"_Moonshine? You DO know what that actually is right?" I said, amused at the idea of my girlfriend who rarely drank, naming her cat after the most disgusting and almost most potent alcohol out there. _

"_It's that nasty garbage water brewed by hillbillies in the backwoods," she said quietly, smirking slightly. I looked at her in amazement, and continued to laugh._

"_But, why?"_

_She shrugged and closed her eyes again._

"_I don't know. It was the first word that came to mind. Don't ask me why I was thinking about it though," she said, sticking her tongue out. I quickly licked her tongue with my own, then her nose. Her green-gray eyes shot right open._

"_Beck!" she screamed. Her hands frantically flew to her face, wiping the saliva from her face. "You KNOW I hate that, you dickweed!" The cat jumped from her stomach and scampered to the other side of my RV. Jade then flipped herself over, straddling me, her face inches from mine. Her arms laced themselves over mine, entangling us together. She flicked her tongue at my nose, my cheek, my forehead; I began to laugh uncontrollably._

"_Oh yeah? You freak, you like that?" she said, a fire lighting in her eyes. She breathed out and I could've sworn I felt the heat building between us dancing on my cheeks._

_Slowly, she pulled the buttons of my charcoal gray shirt apart from each other, tracing her tongue in small circles on my neck, sucking gently on the skin. The hair on the back of my neck rose, responding to her deepening touch. Her tongue began to follow the increased opening of my shirt, trailing slowly down my chest to my stomach. I took in a sharp breath as my muscles tightened and I felt myself getting hard._

_My shirt was soon off, lying somewhere in the room. Both her fingertips and her tongue drew small pictures all over my stomach, inching closer and closer to the top of my waistband. Her other hand rose to where the zipper sat, and brushed against my cock, making it twitch and grow even harder. Cold sweat was beginning to gather in the small of my back, and I could barely take it anymore. She broke open the button and zipper, and slid my shorts down. She looked at me quickly, flashing me her signature smirk, but her eyes and cheeks were flushed with lust. _

"_Jade..." I mumbled, as her hand toured the top of my black boxers. She smiled at her name. I was at my limit; her hands were setting my mind on fire. I threw her off, and straddled her in return. My hands, by their own instinct, pushed her top and bra up, revealing cream-colored breasts, with erect pink nipples. She didn't fight me; she just let her arms collapse above her head. Small sighs swam from her throat as she surrendered herself to me, mind, body and soul._

**Author's Note: So this is my first fanfiction in years, and I already have three reviews! :3 I don't believe it, I'm flattered guys really that you read that first mediocre chapter and liked it! Well, to be honest, I had no intentions to start sexy times so early in the story but it just worked out like that. I'm rather proud of this one, and don't lie, every single one of you is going to be picturing BECK'S ABS the whole time you read this. Don't lie. Because I know.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: What does Dan Schneider have that I don't? Victorious :( And I admit it so don't sue!**

My mind grew foggier with every turn, every red light that assaulted my eyes. My hands instinctively knew the way, lucky considering I was barely paying attention. Music was leaking from the crappy stereo in my truck, thickening the air. I glanced at the clock, which I still hadn't fixed for daylight-savings. I did the quick math and deduced it was 7:13.

_Funny, _I thought_. 7-13, the day me and Jade started going out. Started REALLY going out._

I remembered kisses, deep, seductive, almost vicious kisses trailing off my body. I was her first, but she had been insistent on being on top, being in control. _That's Jade for you._ Scared and trembling, she had begun to lower her S-curved body down onto mine, and her knees dug into my sides, making me moan in pain as well as pleasure. Slowly, her small and slick walls were wrapped around me; I was inside Jade. At that moment, words forced themselves out of my mouth. Her eyes were bright with silver wetness, and I told her that I loved her. Cherry blood flowed onto my stomach, and I asked Jade to stay with me forever.

I pulled into Jade's driveway, swearing at myself for not remembering to get gas. I tumbled out of the driver's side, and looked around for her parents' cars. _Not home. Like always._

I pulled out my phone and called her as I walked quickly for the front door.

"I'm here, is the door open? Ok… Yeah, I'll be up in a few seconds."

She was still crying when I reached her room, a dark cave, with morbid memorabilia scattered everywhere. Curled into a ball, she asked if it was me.

"Yes Jade. It's me." I didn't ask if she was ok, because she wasn't. I didn't ask if there was anything I could do, because I knew there wasn't. I didn't say anything, just curled up next to her, snaking my arms around her. And she cried and I let the tears drip all over my arms. I pulled her closer and kissed the top of her head. Incense and peppermint. I didn't tell her it would be alright, because I knew it wouldn't be. Not for a long time.

"I loooved him!" she cried out, burying her face into my arm, as another strong wave of sobs choked her body. Hugging her as tightly as I could without cutting off her air, I whispered into her ear.

"I know." And at that moment, I hated myself. I bought her a cat to be her best friend. I bought her a cat to let it die on her. I had promised to protect this girl until it was impossible. Until my body was broken. Until I was dead. And even then, I swore to protect her for eternity. I couldn't protect her from heartbreak, not this time. At that moment, I wanted to break down, to cry into her and let our sorrow mix together. Because we were one. But Beck Oliver doesn't cry. Beck Oliver doesn't feel pain. He gets rid of pain. He makes it fly out of the window. He makes sanctuaries.

"I want him back!" she screamed into my arm. I wanted to tell her I could bring him back. I wanted to wave my hand and make her world right again. I wanted to tell her it was just a mean joke I played. Pull back a curtain, and show her it was just an illusion. She'd hit me, scream at me, be mad at me for a week, but it'd be better than seeing her hurt this bad. I whispered into her ear again.

"I know." I had no words. Jade's tears had made me weak, leaving me unable to do anything. I could just hold her, and I would, until the end of time.

_Time Break ( I tried to put a line here but my computer's retarded)_

It was eleven and Jade was asleep. She had exhausted herself, and crashed and burned, still in the crook of my arm. Trying my best not to move, I leaned for her nightstand and turned on the lamp. A soft yellow glow filled the room and flooded over her face. Streaks of black ran across her cheeks and eyes. I pulled down the sleeve of my brown flannel shirt, and cleaned it all up. I erased the marks of grief, as if it had never happened. She suddenly stirred, and opened her eyes halfway. She stared at me, dreamland still shining through.

"Beck." I kissed her softly.

"Yes?"

"I want some coffee." I fought back a smile.

"Ok. You want me to make some or go get some?" She yawned and wiped at the sleep clouding up her face.

"Make some. I don't want you to leave."

"Ok. I'll be right back." I kissed her on the forehead, and she sunk back onto the pillow.

"Two sugars," she said as I walked to the door. Her back was turned and I smiled.

"I know."

**Author's Note: Me and the boyfriend are getting a cat and we're naming it Moonshine :) I know this one's a little short but I felt like I couldn't say much more about it and I wanted this one to be a full Jade/Beck moment. Everyone else will come back in future chapters. And now this is the part where I say something witty and make you laugh (or think I'm stupid) but all I can think of right now is some fucking macaroni salad. **


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I wish I could make a living writing trashy, smutty stories about characters that aren't mine. But I don't… so yeah.**

**Author's Note: Yes, this which is usually at the bottom has been moved to the top! Just for the sake of this chapter. I started writing something, but it didn't do anything for me, so I took a teensy part of it and decided to expand it into a chapter in itself. Now the main reason for the pre-AN is that I want all my lovely readers to know that **_**this entire chapter is a flashback.**_** It isn't real time, but there will be flashbacks within the flashbacks and those will be in the normal italics. So enjoy, sorry for the ramble, and review please. They make me happy in the pants.**

"So Beck, tell me what's on your mind," said Lane, the school guidance counselor, as he leaned forward in his dangling wicker chair. A steaming cup of green tea sat next to him on the floor, and he held a clipboard in his hand. He had an indifferent look set on his face as he waited for me to answer.

"Uh," I said turning my head to the side. "_You_ called me in here. I'm still not sure why."

"Oh. Yes. I suppose I did, didn't I?" Lane said, perking up and scanning the papers in front of him. He mumbled something I couldn't understand then sighed.

"Well, I'm just going to come out and say it. Jade. I'm a little concerned about her. I mean, I know she's always had a very hostile personality but lately, she seems to have gotten more bitter, reclusive, and just… angry."

I blinked slowly, my eyes floating to stare at the fluorescent lights above my head. _Not this again. It was always 'Why is Jade such a bitch?' or 'What the hell's wrong with your girlfriend?' _I tapped my right foot twice, then my left, three times.

"Ok... um. Beck. Tell me some things about Jade. Little things. I'm not talking big secrets or anything. Does she have any… quirks? Habits?"

_Quirks? Habits?_

"_Hey babe. What are you doing?" _

"_Cleaning." She answered briefly, and sharply, an edge to her voice._

"_Everything ok?" I shifted my weight and brought the phone closer to my ear._

"_Fine." She said and let out a small huff. "Juuust fine. Yep. I am totally fine."_

"_Um, alright."_

"_I mean, just because my parents left this morning for a fucking vacation and I'm starring in my first play tonight, I shouldn't be fine? Well I am! Totally fine."_

"_Wait, they left? I thought they were going to come see you tonight."_

"_Yeah. So did I." I heard a small crash on the other end, and then Jade swearing._

"_Fuck! Fuck, fuck!" Short, loud breaths collided into my ear._

"_Um, what was that?" _

"_I was dusting the stupid mantle, and I knocked over my mom's lame little vase. Dammit mom, why do you keep this shit here?"_

"_Jade, just calm down. I'll be over in a few minutes ok?"_

"_Ok. Just come in. I won't hear you knock. I'm going to vacuum."_

"Beck?" Lane looked at me. "Did you hear me?"

I forced myself back to reality, and blinked a few times to clear the glaze from my eyes.

"She cleans. A lot. Well, when she's mad. And her parents are gone. So, yeah, I guess she cleans a lot. Her house is always spotless. I think she's the only one who _does _clean."

"She cleans? You say when her parents are gone? And she's mad?"

"Yeah… Usually. I don't think she does it much when they're there." I squirmed slightly in my seat, feeling a little uneasy. Jade was so private and talking about her like this made me nervous.

"So, her parents? Are they gone a lot?" He looked at me deeply, but his tone was so casual. I was really uncomfortable now. I stayed quiet, looking at my hands like they were the eighth wonder of the world. A Picasso painting.

"Ok. Well, um. Do you know what she does when she's angry and her parents ARE there?"

"_Where the fuck are my scissors? Beck, did you take them?" She said with a voice like knives. She grabbed another drawer from her desk, dug through it, then tossed it aside. It hit the floor with a small crash and a splitting sound._

"_Why would I take your scissors? Jade, just calm down and come here. We'll put on some music. Just relax." I said as I got up and crossed her room. From behind, I put my hands on her shoulders and kissed her neck. "Come on." She bristled at my touch._

"_I just don't know who the FUCK she thinks she is. And YOU! Telling me to calm down? You just let her kiss you," she said as her voice and temper rose. Then in a mocking tone, she added, "Oh wait. I _forgot._ YOU kissed her!" Reaching across her desk, she pulled a pair of blue scissors from a box of paints. I had bought her flowers before I came over, and she seized them from their vase on the bookshelf. Snip, snip, snip. Her shoulders dropped slightly with every petal she sliced from the small bouquet. Red, yellow, pink, white, drifted to the floor like confetti._

"_We were acting! It was a scene. How many times do I have to tell you this?"_

"_You can say it as many times as you want Beck, but I saw what I saw! You WANTED to kiss that skeeze. I swear to god, next time I see fucking Vega I'm going to—" _

_I grabbed her hand just as she snipped off the head of the largest red rose. _

"_Jade. You are being ridiculous. What happened meant nothing. I love you. You and only you. I've told you before. Tori's not you. No one is."_

_She stayed silent, but her hands stopped the manic flower mutilation. They fell to her side, the scissors hitting the floor. I could've sworn I heard a small sniff, but her face remained turned away from me. If she cried, she hid it from me._

"_Are you going to calm down?" Nodding slowly, she put the shredded bouquet into my hands._

"_Here. I'm done with them."_

"She likes scissors. She cuts things, flowers mainly. But paper works. Fabric. Anything easy to cut I guess. She cut my shoelaces one time… but I may have deserved that one."

"I see. And does it help? Does it relieve her anger?" His fingers formed the typical therapist triangle as he studied my face, hoping to see Jade's secrets reflected in my eyes. I looked to the side as I mumbled.

"Sometimes. She can do it for hours though."

"Alright. Well… any other behaviors she has?" He scribbled a few words on his clipboard, and then drew a long line across the page.

I closed my eyes and let my mind run away. She drank at least four or five cups of coffee a day. She liked to pick things up with her toes. She hated her own smile. She had a lucky pair of pink socks because she says they helped her nail auditions. She had sensitive teeth but liked to chew ice, even though it hurt her. I could think of so many things, but I stayed silent.

"No. I can't think of anything else," I muttered, and I knew it sounded like a lie.

"Are you sure?" he asked, leaning as far forward as he could without falling to the ground.

_I shivered as Jade's fingers traced pictures on my stomach. I opened my eyes the tiniest bit to peek._

"_No cheating!" she said, and laughed. I smiled, content, and closed them again. Her nails scraped gently across my flesh, and I could feel my skin pucker with goosebumps._

"_You done yet?" I said, feigning impatience. Her fingers were now tapping tiny dots._

"_Almost! I'd go faster if you didn't keep distracting me." She tapped three more times, then kissed my bellybutton, signaling she was done. "Ok, guess."_

"_A giraffe?" I said, as I slid my arms behind my head._

"_Not even close."_

"_Cow. Moose. Mosquito. Japanese Kamikaze. A Mexican fighting turtle!" I opened one eye to look at her, her mouth open in disbelief._

"_I don't even know where the fuck you come up with this shit," she said shaking her head, and smacking me with a pillow._

_I reached up and started to tickle her. A strangled laugh came from her throat, and then breathless laughs with no sound._

"_Be-Beck- St-Sto-STOP! I- Me- Mean IT!" I flipped her over and pressed my body against hers. Her shirt had lifted revealing a small amount of pale flesh. It felt warm next to my exposed stomach. I leaned in for a kiss, catching her lips with mine. They tasted sweet, and heavy, almost smoky. I kissed her deeper, my tongue exploring her mouth. Tiny sounds reverberated through her throat and mouth, muffled by mine. Her hands wrapped tightly around my neck._

_My hands traveled across her body, feeling her skin becoming hot with desire. I peeled off her shirt, caressing her stomach and chest. My mouth moved down, planting small kisses on her cheek, ear, neck, collarbone, nibbling a little when I reached the top of her chest. A low moan escaped her lips, and she bit her lip to silence it. I kissed the top of her breast, still caged by the lacy black fabric of her bra. I bit softly at her nipple already growing hard. Another moan pervaded the air. My hands slipped under her back and undid the bra, and I tore it from her body. I was greeted by small pink nipples, and my lips latched greedily onto one as my hand teased the other. I could feel Jade's body vibrate as the moans grew louder and more frequent. Chewing softly on the precious pink gem, I glanced up at her. Her grip on my neck was weak, her arms dangling and swaying. They descended finally as she put them above her head and arched her body. Her eyelids fluttered closed, as she gave herself over to me._

I couldn't tell Lane that. I couldn't tell him that it was possible for Jade to surrender. That I was the only one who could make it happen. I didn't tell him about the sleepless nights we spent together, making love, talking, or me comforting her as she cried herself to sleep. She trusted me to keep her secrets, to never tell anyone about what was behind that wall she hid behind. She trusted me, and that was a trust I could never betray.

"Yeah. I'm sure. I can't think of anything else."

"Ok Beck. I think we're done. Thank you."


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I am an 18-year-old girl who can't pay rent… so no. I don't own Victorious.**

I grabbed the steaming cups of brown liquid with one hand, and a plate of Jade's favorite cookies, Oreos, in the other. The cups wobbled slightly in my awkward grip, but stayed upright as I started up Jade's dark stairs.

The whole house had an eerie dark glow to it, but it felt safe and secure. Coming closer to Jade's cave, I listened intently for sounds of rage, but heard nothing but silence. My foot made contact with the top step with a carpeted thump. Wandering thoughts swam in my head as I remembered other nights like this. Jade formed barriers, but loneliness was her enemy. Yet this she refused to admit, making a danger out of herself.

I struggled with my lack of free hands trying to open her door. It opened a crack with my effort, then it slammed shut, knocking me backwards. Scalding coffee spilt on my chest, stinging and burning every inch of skin. Muffled screams drifted through the door. Confused and in pain, I recovered the plate of cookies and cautiously neared the door once more.

"No Tori! You calm the fuck down! Beck isn't coming back, not this time!"

_Tori?_ What was happening? I forced the door open finally to be greeted by an attack. From across the room, she threw something hard, which made a painful hello with my forehead.

"AGH!" I let out a grunt of pain, my hand jumping to the point of contact. "Jade, what the fuck? That hurt!"

"You cheating, two-timing, piece of shit bastard!" she howled, tears once again gracing her face.

"What are you talking about?" My head was bleeding, red drops cascading down my fingers.

"Why don't you check your phone?" She was seething and ready to blow.

"My phone?" I slid a hand into my pocket, feeling around for it. It wasn't there.

_My phone… She threw my phone at me. _I scoped the floor for it, trying hard to understand through the throbbing in my forehead.

It was inches from my feet, behind me, blinking with missed messages. I scooped it up and looked at the screen. _Tori._

Seven messages in all, and two phone calls.

_Beck is everything ok?_

_Hey… I'm worried call me_

_Hello?_

_When are you leaving jade's?_

_Are you coming back?_

_Please answer me its been hours_

_BECK!_

I blinked, hard, as I threw my phone to the side and sighed. Meeting her eyes was hard and her lips were sealed tight with the gunpowder of her anger. Any word I could say would light the fuse. Speak, and we'd both go down. Her eyes pierced me with a ferocity that was her signature, her trademark; the reason I feared her but loved her so much.

"Jade, it's not what you think. She's not alone. We were working on a project, all of us."

"It's always a project, or something. You always have an excuse." Her voice was steady, monotone. Her arms were at her side, instead of flying in front of her face. It was something I'd never seen; a Jade who was refusing to fight, a Jade who had given up completely. It twisted my insides more than anything she could ever say, ever do, any curses she could spit at me. It was the worse that she could ever do and it was absolutely nothing. Because Jade wasn't inertia, she wasn't inaction. She was fire; she was fangs, volatile energy. She was a tripped wire, but now staring at her, silent and vulnerable, I couldn't say at all what she had become.

**Author's Note: I'm terribly sorry for the delay. I've just been unbelievably busy and hopelessly uninspired. I hope you enjoy reading this one as much as I enjoyed procrastinating on it. But now I must go, because soon, there are TWO NEW Victorious episodes! So read, review and tell me how much you hate me for being late.**

**Update: OH MY GOSH! Those new episodes were amazing and have made me love Jade and Bade so much more.  
**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I don't own Victorious yada yada yada… though theoretically I could.**

**Author's Note: For… safety reasons, I have to put this up here. This chapter's… VERY explicit. And a little weird. Contains rough sex play and lots of cussing. Something tells me I might need help. Oh well. Enjoy anyway! :)**

"What's wrong with me?" She asked, her voice so low. It usually rang loud and sharp from all those years of vocal training. Even when she would cry, had cried in the past, it was shrill and piercing and reminding you that she's real, right there, and in need of love. Jade had flown with the path of my phone. She had thrown her very spirit and it was with me, dripping scarlet down my forehead.

"What?" I said, half in disbelief, half in desperation. At school I was collected, calm, mysterious. I played games to show I cared. I laughed because to the world, Beck sees life as a joke. That was me, but now seeing Jade, the girl, the woman, the everything I loved, slumped over like a rag doll, what was I? If I didn't know what she was, then how could I ever know who I was?

I leapt forward, colliding with Jade, sweeping her in my arms, and driving her to the floor. My lungs bulleted out air as I wrapped my arms as tight as they would go around her until my hands were on my own elbows.

"Jade? How many times do I have to tell you that I love you? Only you. That you'll never have to worry because I'm yours. And you're mine. And that's how it's going to be and no Tori, or Alyssa, or anyone is EVER going to change that." A tear slid down, and a pure crystal drop landed on Jade's cheek. _I never cry, I don't cry. _Jade inhaled sharply, and coughed from the weight of my body, but her eyes glistened too. She glanced hesitantly to her left, sprinkling melted mascara across her face.

"Ok. If that's true… Stop talking to Vega." She said it softly but steady, challenging me, asking me to prove that love with her was all I needed, all I could ever need. I knew I should've agreed immediately, should've said yes and cradled her lips with mine. I should've said yes and made everything better, but the word wouldn't, couldn't come out. It stood hesitantly on my tongue, still reluctantly trying to jump. Her lips pursed tightly as she pushed me off of her.

"I knew it. You don't have the balls to trust me. You don't want to let go of Miss fucking walks on air and shits rainbows, perfect pretty lousy skank bag Vega. I tried everything Beck. I tried being nice. You flirted with other girls. I tried being a bitch. That worked for awhile till Tori strolls on in like she owns the fucking school. And now it's always Tori this, Tori that. 'Oh Tori you sing so amazing!' 'Oh Tori, you're so amazingly beautiful with your high cheekbones and 10-inch waist!' 'Oh Tori you're such an amazing actor, performer and owner of a vagina that I just want to leave my girlfriend aside so I can fuck you!" Her voice broke even further with every syllable. I'd never seen her so angry.

"Jade, I've told you! It's not like that with me and her!" I cried out, grasping her shoulders, trying to get her close to me and to stop the avalanche of rage streaming from her.

"No Beck you just don't FUCKING get it do you! Do you know how hard I've worked my entire life to get the kind of glory that she gets by accident? I've been taking singing, dancing, acting, every kind of lesson you can ever imagine since I could walk. In middle school, I swore I'd be famous, on Broadway, a director by now! I put my heart and soul into every audition, every performance, and every note that comes out of my mouth! What does she know about hard work? What does she know about sacrifice? What does she know about having this burning desire to prove yourself, to be worth something? And most importantly, what in the world does she know about losing? So fine! She can take my roles, my dreams, my spotlight, but she will not take the one thing I have left! " She collapsed to the floor at this point, the echoed distortion of her crying slicing the air.

I was speechless. I stood numb, but I felt everything. Somehow, I'd never known how desperate her desires were, how fiery her passion was, how red-hot she burned inside. Even more important, I'd forgotten how much she needed me; how I was the only thing standing between her and infinity. I kneeled down, placing one hand on her thigh and the other on her cheek. Forcing her eyes to meet mine, I said as calmly as I could,

"I would do anything for you. Jadelyn, I would die for you. And I seriously mean that. I would protect you until my last breath. I would…" I hesitated, the emotions making me mute for a split second. "I would kill someone for you. I would take a gun and shoot someone in the head if it meant I could have you forever."

"Then why is this so hard for you?" she choked out, eyes sealed tight and mouth frozen open.

"It's not," I whispered, tilting her chin up and kissing her as softly as I possibly could. Another one, deeper this time. I continued until she was all I could taste. All I could see, think of, or feel. Incense and raspberries flooded my mind. At that moment, I wanted her. More than I'd ever wanted anything. My hands drew circles across her face, her neck, shoulder, anything I could get my hands on. Her voice was trapped in her throat, and it fueled me even more. Roughly, I grabbed her by the back of the head, forcing her to arch her back as I slipped up her shirt. Right on her chest, right above her perfect and hard pink nipple, I sunk my teeth into her flesh. I chewed and sucked, bit again, until her skin was plum-colored and puckered.

Goosebumps danced on her skin, and a low guttural moan tore through her body. Shakes and shivers claimed her while my hands cupped her breasts, flicking her nipples in perfect circles. My mouth continued to ravage her body, leaving a trail of maroon spots down her stomach. Keeping one hand on her chest, I unbuttoned her jeans. I snaked my tongue under the waistband of her panties. A cascade of moans flowed down to me and I used both hands to rip off her carbon-colored jeans.

Continuing the harsh bites right above here panties I growled,

"You are mine, Jadelyn August West!" My teeth seized the black lace. Her legs drifted lazily up so I could slide them off. I parted her legs and I was rewarded with a musky yet sweet smell. She was wet; being abused like this was her biggest turn-on. I wrapped my arms around her legs, placing my hands just next to her ass. I kissed, licked, bit, destroyed, and turned ever inch of her inner thighs as purple as the makeup she plastered on every day. Her moans were turning into squeals, rare for a girl like Jade.

"Beck please! Stop teasing!" Her arms lay above her head which folded back, creating the perfect arch. Her eyelids fluttered and her lip was red from biting. I lowered my head and dipped my tongue gently into the pool between her legs. She squealed, louder than I'd ever heard before. I flicked it again and again, making her into an animal. My lips caught the sensitive bud, tickling and sucking, and making Jade go wild.

I heard my phone begin to vibrate again; Tori was probably calling again. Without even looking behind me, I grabbed it and placed it on Jade, right above my lips. She shrieked with pleasure, her body rocking.

"Answer it," I said quickly, not wanting to separate my lips from her. Close to climax, she jerked up and glanced at me.

"What?" she said, her voice shaky. Her hand instinctively shot to my head, as I twisted my tongue in circles, driving her closer to the edge.

"You heard me," I mumbled through my work. She reached a trembling arm for my phone and put it to her ear.

"Y-yes?" she stuttered, as her legs began to jerk. She was so close, I could tell. If only she would scream while she had Tori. That way, Tori could see who _I_ belonged to.

"Y-y-yeah B-beck's here." She bit her lip hard, drawing blood, as the moans grew more intense. She was about to come.

"N-n-n-NOOOO!" she screamed, reaching an orgasm. Tremors ran through both of us and I slid two fingers inside her. Her scream grew louder and the phone fell from her grasp. It landed with a thud. I drew my fingers in and out, while Jade rode out the rest of her ecstasy. Almost a minute later she relaxed, exhausted. She slumped to the ground, breathing heavily.

I smiled at her, almost a smirk and kissed her deeply once more.

"Who's am I?"

She smiled with eyes closed and she breathed out,

"Mine."


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I write crappy fan fiction to hide from the fact that I own nothing of popular merit. Like Victorious. Fuck.**

I woke just a few hours later, just as dawn was breaking across the sky of LA. A smattering of hazy blue light broke through the window and cast an eerie glow on Jade. She had her knees to her chest and an arm thrown across her face. Her lips were parted slightly and I could hear a faint breath drifting in and out of her chest. The heavy black comforter was drawn up to her ribcage, revealing her pale breasts, as they rose in time with her breathing. I watched her sleep as I pulled on my clothes. I decided to take advantage of the moment, to take advantage of this small moment of vulnerability. I retrieved my phone from the floor where Jade had dropped it in her bliss the night before. I was about to take a picture when my arm dropped to my side. Leaning over the bed, I inched the covers over her exposed chest and gently slid her arm to the side, revealing her porcelain face. _Perfect._

I snapped the picture quickly, smiling to myself, and then paused to kiss her cheek. A small sound fell from her lips and then a smile snuck onto her face.

"I love you," I whispered.

We kept to ourselves the rest of the day, opting to sit by ourselves at lunch. There was a sparkle in her eyes that I hadn't seen for awhile. She laughed freely, and smiled instead of smirked. She reached across the table to steal a fry while laughing at a story I was telling her. She was playful, she was happy. At least until Tori came up. I looked up to see Jade's face turn stormy as the air of gloom returned.

"What. Vega." She hissed harshly, her hands abandoning her lunch. Tori played with the fringe on her brown purse and looked down anxiously. I wanted her to walk away, not just for my sake but for hers as well. Jade was fired up; there was no telling what was about to happen.

"I-I was just wondering if I could talk to you guys. Just… real quick," she said in a soft voice. My eyes met Jade's. I said nothing, leaving it up to her as my eyes fell downwards to my ketchup-stained fries.

"Fine."

"Well, I guess I just wanted to know what was going on. I mean… after last night. You seem more pissed than ever and Beck…" she paused, looking up at both of us, lingering on me. "Beck won't even say one word to me." Her hands danced clumsily with one another in her lap as the silence stretched out like hot and uncomfortable highway asphalt. Jade reached for her coffee. She slowly drained it with overcast eyes, mulling over Tori's words. Letting the coffee cup fall to the table, she closed her eyes for a moment then finally spoke.

"Things are different now. Sorry to burst your bubble for what is probably the first time since you've been here but I never want to see you again. And neither does Beck," she said, glancing at me. "Right Beck?"

I glanced up quickly at Tori. I could see traces of confusion and hurt on her face already. I felt so on the spot. I wished that I could have told her one on one so I could explain why. I wished Jade wasn't glaring at me hotly. I remembered her just a minute ago and that was enough to force the words out. I wanted my blissful Jade back. The Jade that existed before Tori came. The Jade I had fallen in love with.

"Right. Things are… They're definitely different now," I mumbled, looking down at my food again. _Please just leave now._

"Well there you have it. So, goodbye Tori Vega. For good," said Jade, smirking up at Tori.

Tori glanced at both of us for a few more seconds, speechless and in disbelief.

"Oh um ok. Well then, bye I guess," she stammered out. Her head hung low as she turned to leave. She stopped suddenly and turned back around.

"Oh one more thing… just, real quick," she burst out, laying papers down on the table between me and Jade.

"Well Beck wasn't in class today so here's the project we were supposed to work on. I thought something was wrong so we just put his name on it anyway. We got an A." She looked around nervously, but Jade was silent, picking solemnly at her food. "Ok. That's it." Tori disappeared without another word. The papers she left caught the slight breeze and ruffled on the table. I picked up the papers and looked at them. My name was first, followed by Cat's, then Tori's. It was another scene, titled Wishful Thinking. I read through it quickly. It was about a girl who was in love with a boy who was with another girl. The main girl understood that they were in love and sacrificed her feelings for their happiness. I threw it on the table. Maybe Tori understood more than we gave her credit for. Maybe she wasn't the threat we perceived her to be. Jade reached for the papers, her face still pinched in a look of anger.

I ate my cold fries as Jade read the scene. I tried to gauge how she was feeling but her face revealed nothing. She played with the rings adorning her hands while she read the last page. She laughed, but it wasn't a happy laugh. It was menacing, bordering on cruel.

"I knew it," was all that she could say. "I fucking knew it."

**Author's Note: Wow what crap. Sorry. You deserve better than this. Where is the spark and the love that used to exist between us? I know, I've been negligent, but that's what happens when you push me into college. And hard drugs. Nah. I keed. No hard drugs. But seriously, I'll try harder on the next one. **


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: What do a working car, a hundred dollars, and Victorious have in common? That's right… I own none of them. **

"Come on I want you to meet my friend Jade!" Lacey cried joyfully to me, snaking her fingers between mine and kissing me on the cheek. It was almost summer and I'd already gotten accepted into Hollywood Arts. I had been brooding all week, happy for the acceptance but bemoaning the fact that my middle school girlfriend Lacey would be going somewhere else. I can't say I loved her, far from it. With her dyed black hair, ripped tights, and those deep dark raccoon eyes that scream 'My daddy never loved me,' she was the perfect way to rebel. My mother's eyebrow has this nasty habit of twitching uncontrollably when she's angry and that eyebrow lost control when she met Lacey with rings dangling from her face. Even though I didn't love her, I liked her well enough. She made me laugh and we had fun together, and best of all she had long, creamy legs that went on for miles.

"Beck! Did you hear me?" she asked, reaching into her purse and fishing us out two cigarettes. She slid one into my free hand, the other between her bright pink lips. She smiled at me as she torched the end of hers. She leaned in, placing my cigarette in my mouth and touching the lit end of hers to mine. Through a puff of smoke she winked at me and pulled me up.

"Yeah… yeah I heard you," I said, exhaling ashy air. I'd been hearing for the past week of Lacey's friend Jade who had 'a voice that rocked' and 'wicked style.' She had gotten accepted into Hollywood Arts as well and Lacey was determined to cement a friendship between the two of us. I followed the glare of the sun against her blue-black hair across the park. Lacey pointed to a girl sitting under a tree, reading, pretty oblivious to everyone around her. She had a knee drawn to her pale face and long, stick-straight brown hair. She glittered with flashy jewelry that was somehow muted by the elegance of the lacey black shirt she wore.

"Jade!" Lacey cried out, stomping her cigarette into the grass and bounding up to the girl. She slid in next to her, poking her nose into Jade's book. Jade looked up, obviously irritated but with a slight smirk on her face.

"Can I help you?" she said in a tone dripping with sarcasm, a voice that would become engraved in my memory. She and Lacey exchanged a hug which was enthusiastic on Lacey's part, but the awkwardness of close contact made Jade falter noticeably. Jade closed her book and set it beside her. _Wow, Ulysses. Heavy, _I thought to myself.

"Jade, this is the guy I've been telling you about. Beck!" she practically squealed, getting to her feet and throwing her arms around my neck. I stuck my cigarette in my mouth to free my hand and put it out in Jade's direction.

"Hey nice to meet you," I said smiling. Her icy eyes met mine then flicked over to the plume of smoke escaping from me. She groaned in disgust and pushed my hand away.

"Lacey. We talked about this." She said through gritted teeth.

"Oh my god Jade! I'm so sorry, I totally forgot!" she said, grabbing the cigarette from my hand and crushing it underneath her foot. "I forgot to tell you babe that we shouldn't smoke in front of her. It bothers her." She smiled apologetically at Jade's curled face.

"Beck, huh? And you're going to Hollywood Arts?" she said as she crossed her arms in front of her, never breaking the cold gaze she held on me. Her blue eyes made me speechless for a moment and I felt dizzy and confused by what had just happened. My hand was still held open. She raised an eyebrow at me as my mind battled for words to say to this captivating girl.

"Well, great job Lacey. He smells like an ashtray and has the communication skills of a gnat. You _really_ know how to pick them."

"Oh Jade, he's just a little shy. Maybe he just shocked that I have such sexy friends," she laughed, intertwining hers and Jade's arm while taking hold of my hand again.

**B*R*E*A*K**

"Oh hush Jade, it wasn't that bad! Come on, you guys will get along! Oh shit, the park lights are turning off! What time is it?" Lacey rattled off as the three of us walked across the cool grass. She had her shoes in her hand and her toes had braids of green sticking out from between them.

"10:30," Jade mumbled, looking at the phone in her pocket.

"Aw crap!" Lacey yelled, slipping on her shoes. "I'm way late!" She pulled me close and gave me a quick kiss. "I'll be faster by myself babe, I'll call you in a bit! Bye Jade!" She made a kissing noise and with that she dashed off through the dark blue of night and over the park fence. Me and Jade exchanged a look, her rolling her eyes.

"You guys are so… different," I mumbled out after a few seconds of silence. She lowered her head and in the dark it was hard to tell if she was scowling or smiling.

"Yep. She gets over excited about everything and I hit her for it. It's balance," she said. Every time she talked my eyes darted around, following her hand movements. They were so expressive, so theatrical, so seductive. She noticed my glazed eyes and gave me a look.

"Enjoying the show?" A smirk graced her face and I smiled back. In a moment she was right in front of me, her hands to my cheeks, as she placed her lips to mine. It was a quick and soft kiss, but I still managed to lose myself in it. I felt her nails drag slowly across my cheek.

"What was that for?" I laughed nervously, fighting back a huge grin.

"I wanted to see what it was like to kiss a smoker," she said plainly. She checked her phone once more. The light cast on her face revealed not a smirk but a genuine smile.

"Well, I should really head home now Beck," she said as she turned to leave. "Guess I'll see you at school."

I faltered a moment, my mouth still tingling from her touch. "Wait," I managed to cough out.

She stopped without turning around. "What?"

"How was it?" I asked.

She turned around and smirked, moonlight throwing half of her face into view.

"Absolutely disgusting."

**Author's Note: I know right? I'm NOT dead! So sorry to the like… 2 people who read this. I've been caught up with school and roller derby and other stuff but I finally found the time! I know Beck is a little OOC but I figured before Jade, he must've been a different person. So review and maybe bake me cookies in honor of my return? :3**


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: Dead men can own nothing. I'm looking at you Dan Schneider. *menacing glare***

…

**Just kidding. Seriously. Don't sue.**

I woke up reluctantly the next morning, my mouth still tingling from the memory of Jade's kiss. I'd been having dreams of her non-stop the past two weeks. Most were simple. I would dream about the day we met, our first date, trivial memories. Other were unsettling and merely composites of blurry images, like a broken VHS with no audio, with just a distorted image of her. I would be running in circles around myself, constantly tripping on and being weighed down by own feet. Her image would flood my senses like a piece of war propaganda covering every surface but no matter how hard I would try to reach out to touch her, my fingers only traced the air.

My RV was dark, the curtains drawn tightly against the bright LA sun. My groggy body spread out, subconsciously searching for the long strands of chestnut hair, the creamy flesh, the familiar energy that my mind seemed to already know wasn't there. I kept my eyes shut tight, if only to pretend for a moment she was there, playing hide and seek, waiting for me to grab her and yell "Gotcha!" My hands groped at the sheets, crumpling them in my tight fist. Finally I accepted defeat and let my eyes lazily drift open.

Jade refused to sleep over ever since the Tori incident. That barrier between Jade and the rest of the world shot up and down so sporadically, it was often hard to tell who or what had helped build it back up. And once that wall was up again, it took all my strength and energy to break through it, to chip away at the bricks until my hands were numb and I could climb through the crawlspace back into her arms. Being with Jade was exhausting but to see that smile creep onto her face, to see her drop her arms for a moment and just stare at you, granting you unlimited access to her deep eyes, made all the effort worth it.

I stretched out my arms, feeling my muscles tighten against my skin. I was worn out from a night of dreaming, of chasing Jade, and now I had to repeat the charade in reality.

*B*R*E*A*K*

"Jade! You look even more bitter and hopeless than ever! Drive-by acting exercise! Get up on the stage!" Sikowitz declared gesturing towards Jade. Her eyebrows cinched in and she crossed her arms as if the message of "Fuck you world" wasn't ringing clear enough.

"Come on now! And do it… BAREFOOT! Yes, barefoot please! Remove your footwear!" Her eyes rolled in and her head swung back and a loud sigh jumped from her throat. I rubbed her left arm to soothe her. Angry energy shot at my fingertips, making it feel as I had been electrocuted merely by touching her. She slumped over and begun untying her clunky red boots. She did it slowly, deliberately, hoping Sikowitz would lose focus and his scattered mind would creep onto something else. Rather, he seemed mesmerized by her every movement and watched intently as she shuffled her feet out of her shoes. She got up to her feet, toes curled in her black socks.

"Nope I said barefoot, Jade, socks are not your bare feet."

"Oh come on!" she yelled, obviously exasperated. She peeled off her socks and threw them angrily to the floor. She stomped onto to the stage but the threat level wasn't quite the same without the heavy thud of her boots.

"Now Jade I want you to….." he said, looking towards the ceiling as he pulled yet another scene out of his ass.

"What!" Jade screamed, throwing her hands up. She looked about ready to scratch someone's eyes out.

"You are a mermaid who is out of water and desperately thirsty!" Jade rolled her eyes again as I laughed to myself. Not one word was out of her mouth before Sikowitz yelled again.

"Wrong! Mermaids can't walk, they don't have legs. Sit down, I'm bored, we're moving on!" he said, pointing up at the ceiling. Jade's eyes grew wide with anger as she stomped off the stage and swiped at the floor to pick up her socks. I put my arms around her as she sat down.

"Ok I was thinking that for the next three or so weeks we could do a little class project. We are going to create a little movie together using a script that I picked up off the floor the other day while I was cleaning out my van!" Jade and I exchanged looks. I glanced down at her feet and lifted them into my lap and began to tie her laces for her.

"Now it seems someone at this school wrote the perfect script for a nice little five minute movie but unfortunately the names were scratched out so hush! Don't tell anyone and we'll get away with it."

There was a murmuring buzz as the class grew excited at the thought of making another movie. Jade leaned her head back and closed her eyes. One piece of hair draped across her face, blocking her eyelids from view, I brushed it out of the way and kissed her on the cheek. She did nothing, just continued to lie there.

"Auditions will be today after school, don't be late, yada yada."

"So what's the movie gonna be about?" piped up Tori. Jade's eyelashes fluttered angrily at the sound of Tori's voice but remained sealed against her eyes, stubbornly refusing to move especially for the likes of Tori Vega.

"Oh I don't know, love I think. Doesn't matter."

"Well, uh, what's it called at least?" Tori said, straightening up in her chair. Sikowitz sighed loudly and grabbed at his own sparse hair.

"You and the questions!" He reached into his bag on the desk and fished out a rumpled stack of papers. He must've read off the name but I was trying to get Jade to open her eyes. Every time I asked, her head shook no, trailing locks of brown and pink across my outstretched hands.

"Beck! Did you get a name change recently?" Sikowitz asked, standing right next to me. I looked up at him, shooting a strange look.

"No. I'm pretty sure I haven't."

"I thought so! Then you wrote this?" he said shoving the script in my hands. There was a dark black sharpie mark on the left-hand corner through which only my name, Beck Oliver was visible. My stomach sank as my mind tried to wrap itself around what had just happened.

"Wishful Thinking," I mumbled, running my fingers through my hair.

Jade's eyes shot open with the fierceness of a gunshot.

"What!"

**Author's Note: I know right? Ahh you saw it coming though, come on! I was excited to get this one up before practice so I'll revise later! Review and be excellent to me. It's nice to do that :D**


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: Victorious is a lot like a penis. Well, not really, except for I wish I owned both of them. And don't look at me like that either. I'm tired of peeing sitting down.**

"No."

"Come on, it might be fun."

"No!"

"Please Jade?"

"Oh well since you put it like that… NO."

She stood stubbornly against her locker, a pair of scissors gripped tightly in her hard, white fist. Shreds of her copy of _Wishful Thinking_ curled to the floor around her feet as she manicured it haphazardly with the scissors. I sighed and rested my eyes on hers, willing her to raise her dagger eyes. They remained focused, slicing through the sheets of paper falling apart in her hands.

"Jade," I said, placing a hand on her shoulder. Again, I felt the angry electricity crackling inside her and I imagined sparks flying from the points where my fingertips touched her skin. Her eyes ascended, landing on mine. The scissors and remaining pieces of script fell from her hands, nearly missing her own foot. She raised a finger at me and red hot energy flew from her mouth.

"I really don't give a shit what you say Beck! Yeah, my grade will drop. Yes, it will look like I'm bitter and angry. Everyone will hate me but you know what? I DON'T CARE. That script makes me look like a bitch and I refuse to be a part of Vega's little game. I'm not auditioning and nothing you can say will make me change my mind!" she screamed at me, her hands making blurry shapes around her head as they followed the passion of her anger.

"Jade, please. No one's even gonna realize-"

"What Beck? That Vega's script is a very thinly veiled representation of us? That SHE in the end comes out the honorable sweet one, like she's some fuckin romantic martyr? Those people may not be the smartest but they're not retards. They'll see!" she spit out.

I stayed quiet, let out a sigh, and ran my fingers through my hair. She was right, I knew she was. And we both knew the moment we committed to this game, that Tori automatically wins. But my grade was suffering and I needed to be a part of this. I opened my mouth to explain but Jade cut me off.

"I know Beck. You've got to. I'm just telling you I refuse to. You go ahead but you touch her and I swear we're through."

I smiled at her and pulled her into my arms. She gave me the faintest smile back and I brushed my lips against hers. The smell of incense and peppermint scratched at my senses. She engulfed me with her kiss, drawing me deep into her world again, if only for a minute. Warmth spread to every nerve in my body and I felt fused with Jade. She broke the kiss, looking coyly up at me, her face almost innocent.

"I'm going with you to the audition," she said, breaking the spell with a smirk.

*B*R*E*A*K*

"Alright, alright. I am here, let's begin the auditions for… Beck's play! Movie! Whatever," said Sikowitz in a near sing-song voice.

"But I told you Sikowitz, I didn't write it. This is like, the fifth time I've said it," I said, looking up from my phone. My other hand was on Jade's knee, restlessly bouncing up and down.

"Yeah. Me, Cat, and Andre wrote it," Tori said, an edge to her voice. I glanced at he briefly to see her hot eyes on me. I shifted uncomfortably back to Jade, similar hot eyes burning into me. I leaned back, propping myself up against Jade and simply smiled. _Don't let it get to you. It's just another audition. If you get cast, you get cast. If not, you'll work lights or whatever. Either way, it works out. _A small sick part of me hoped to get cast, to jump through the hoops of his own character.

"Well WHOEVER wrote it, let's begin!" Sikowitz announced, sucking the milk from a coconut. "First up, I want Jade, Cat, and Robbie on stage please!"

"Oh no Sikowitz. I'm just here to observe. I won't be auditioning for this play," Jade said, looking at her glossy nails under the fluorescent lights.

"Not auditioning? Well this is a first. But Jade, this movie counts for a very large percent of your grade. It's a requirement to at least audition," Sikowitz said, tiptoeing through the heap of chairs in the black box.

"Yeah well I don't agree with the message of the play so I'm not going to do it," Jade said, crossing her arms defiantly.

The small group in the theater stopped shuffling around. Whispers swam around as they watched Sikowitz near Jade. Tori, her hand on her phone was frozen in place, her mouth dangling open and eyes fixed bluntly on Jade.

"And what may I ask is this message you disagree with Jade?" Sikowitz asked, bringing one finger up to his temple.

"Well, it's obvious that this main character, Jenny, tries to get admiration for not giving into temptation even though it's clearly something most people wouldn't do in the first place. I mean, are we supposed to feel _sorry_ for her? And the character of Amber is so grotesquely exaggerated that it's disgusting. Why are we supposed to pity Jenny and not her? She's completely shot down without a respect to her boundaries. It's so stereotypical that it makes me want to vomit," Jade said, rising up out of her chair. All eyes were on her as she clicked the heel of her boot against the chair behind her. The air was so heavy with tension that my vision blurred.

"Are you implying that your boyfriend wrote a terrible script?" Sikowitz asked, raising an eyebrow. I opened my mouth to argue but Jade beat me to it.

"He didn't write it! That self-righteous goody two-shoes Vega wrote it!" she said with a snarl. Any whispers that were swirling through the air stopped immediately. I glanced at Tori and I could see the anger behind the wall about to spill over. "And if you guys are to stupid to see that this her attempt at criminalizing me and turning me into a villain, then I guess she's done her job hasn't she?" Jade's fury had boiled over, burning everyone in the room with the same white-hot intensity. It had gotten out of hand.

"Jade," I said, as a warning. I stood up and cupped her shoulders with my hands.

"No! You know what? Fuck this! I'm tired of being the goddamn bad guy here! You think that just because I say what everyone else is thinking I'm some horrible bitch, but at least I try to cover it up with smoke and mirrors like you do Vega!" she screamed, pacing quickly towards Tori. Tori's eyes flashed with terror as Jade got closer.

"I've had it with your little games TORI," she hissed through clenched teeth. I'd never seen her face so twisted with anger.

"Jade, please, just calm down," Tori said, putting her hands up.

Jade glared at the skinny brunette in front of her. Through her body coursed anger that paralyzed her and made her unable to act. Without another word, she stormed away and out the door, leaving the entire room in silence.

**Author's Note: This was probably the most fun chapter to write so far. :3 Now I know I went on a long hiatus recently and I hate to do it again cause I get such nice reviews! But finals are coming up and I'm not sure I'll have the time to write. With that said, I thought it'd be fun to leave you something to do while I'm gone.**

**Answer this question in the comments and I'll post the answer I like best in my next Author's Note! Sounds fun right? Shut up. It is TOTALLY fun.**

**Q: Why do you write fanfiction? Or if you're just a reader, why do you like to read it?**

**So review and leave answers and I'll see you guys when finals are over!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: I don't own Victorious, its characters, or its actors. Because owning people is illegal. For **_**now.**_

"Jade! I'm serious, chill out!" I called after her, the squeaking of her boots ringing in my skull. The hallways were deserted and Jade had become a black blur, ripping open her locker and shoving things in her bag in a flurry of anger. Her elbow slammed into the locker door, sending two pairs of scissors across the stairs leading into Hollywood Arts. She swore loudly, clutching her elbow and finally releasing a long, frustrated groan. I stepped towards her slowly, reaching out to her warily almost as she was tearing through time, swiftly, still nothing but that black blur across my eyes.

"Are you calm?" I asked, my hand cupping the slope of her neck, running my thumb up and down her jaw. She stiffened for a second then, as my touch seemed to slow her down and seep through her veins, she dropped her body and relaxed.

"I guess," she muttered, casting her eyes downward, away from me. She was ashamed, embarrassed by her explosion, but far too proud to even consider apologizing for it. It was alright though. It was an inconvenience I had almost come to appreciate. I leaned in and kissed her lips. She responded half-heateredly.

"Good, now why don't we go back to the auditions. I'll buy you some coffee!" I added in quickly, seeing the venomous look on her face. At the mention of her favorite treat, her features drooped slightly as her lower lip jumped out.

"Ok," she said simply, giving me what was the Jade version of puppy dog eyes; a cold, hard stare with a malicious twinkle at the back and a pout. Putting my arm around her, I led her to the coffee stand that was just closing up and bought her a large black coffee.

*B*R*E*A*K*

Jade was lying across my bare stomach, absentmindedly stroking the coarse hairs above my waistline. She was stripped down to a black tanktop and black boyshorts. Sweat was still hanging on the back of my neck. I drank in deeply the sight of a quiet, satisfied Jade. I knew that a frown was probably etched onto her face, but she was satisfied nonetheless. I felt her gentle fingertips graze against my skin, a cool relief to the fire that she had left burning within me. My eyes began to draw closed and soon I was in a pleasantly lucid sleep state. I still felt the strands of chestnut hair curling up my forearm like vines claiming an abandoned graveyard. Right above where her cheek was pressed into my abdomen, I felt the fluttering dance of her eyelids with every blink and a warm and sweet scent that was purely human hung about her. She was not a beast, I said to myself, beginning my usual internal soliloquy. She's a lonely, beautiful person, inside and out. I need her and she needs me and that is nothing I should have to explain to anybody. One look at her through my perspective, and that'd fall as deeply and drunkenly in love with her as I have come to be.

I felt a buzzing sensation that stirred me from my hazy stupor. My phone had gone off, the fabric of my pocket muffling the vibration to a dull and monotonous drone. A second later, screeching metal music blared from Jade's phone on the shelf above our heads. Both of us glanced at each other, silently agreed to ignore them, then settled our heads back into our respective pillows. A minute later, another discharge of scratchy and fuzzy metal made Jade heave herself up and snatch at her phone.

"What is it?" I asked groggily, already prepared to drift back off to sleep. The deep and dark palette of Jade's room always hypnotized me and seemed to coax me to sleep easily. I heard her clicking her tongue as she messed with her phone.

"An e-mail," she muttered. Then after a sharp breath from her direction she said clearly, "It's from Sikowitz. He sent me the cast list."

I opened one eye curiously. "Did he now?" I asked, smiling in amusement. She didn't say anything, merely nodded. Her eyes scanned her phone in front of her as she rhythmically tapped her thumbnail against the screen. I was surprised to see a grin spread, almost like a crack in glass, from corner to corner of her lips.

"Heeyy Beck. Looks like you got a part. A big one too," she said as her trademark smirk turned its attention to me.

"Oh no. Not Kirk is it?" I brought myself up to my elbows and casually swept my fingers through my hair.

"Oh it's way better than that," Jade said, her enthusiasm to spill the secret leaking from the crack of her lips. "Check it out." She slipped the phone onto my chest, right beneath my chin. Blue light cascaded onto my face. I picked up the phone and silently read the e-mail. I made a dim observation that Jade had gotten a part too. I decided to come back to it. I finally found my name and breathed a sigh of relief.

"Jenny," I said laughing. "I'm Jenny." I smiled up at her. Then I remembered her Jade. I looked back down at the already dark screen. She pulled the phone from my grasp and slid her lips against mine.

"I'M Kirk," she said with the biggest smile. I felt it stretch against my own smile, and the two of us fell into fits of hysterical laughter, our voices clashing against the silence of her empty home.

**Author's Note: OH MY GOD GUYS! Hiii! Did you miss me? :D**

**I'm super sorry for the long wait, I'm sure a lot have lost interest. :/ C'est la vie. I've been so busy and or drained lately that this has been the last thing on my mind, but I'm determined to finish this story so let's hope for the best, yes?**

**I haven't forgotten about last chapter's little Q&A so here's my pick for the best answer to my question, why do you write or read fanfiction!**

**AvidReaderAshley: **I write fanfiction because I sometimes want to change or add to the story that is already established. I love changing things up and creating different moments! :)

I read fanfiction because I love to see other people do exactly what I try to do. I love reading stories where people take small characters and delve enormously deep into their characters - to places the book, show, or movie doesn't even go...

**Truer words were never spoken… I agree that I love to go where the show doesn't or can't, not to mention my addiction to psychology and imagining what the minds of these characters must be like. It's all pretty interesting to me. :)**

**I will do my best to update soon! Maybe have another question next time!**


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: Don't own Victorious, blah blah, yadda yadda, I'm too hyped up on green tea and pudding snacks to care.**

With Jade at my side, her breath fluttering across my face, as she mumbled in her dreams, I felt my eyelids sag. Almost seamlessly, I drifted off to sleep and into a dream that was as vivid as the actual memory it represented.

~?~?~?~?~

For two and a half weeks I visited the park where I had first met Jade. I would stand under trees, try my my best to look cool and casual, and I would always make sure I had a copy of James Joyce's _Ulysses _under my arm. My most recent pack of smokes lay in the garbage can by the swingset, each individual papery stick broken cleanly in two. Something about this girl had crawled under my skin and stayed, curled up against my musculature and veins as she breathed her poetry through me. Every word she had spoken rang clearly as if she were whispering them in my ear. Her final 'disgusting' had punctuated her impression on me, leaving me craving for more. Kids and their parents and couples on picnics surrounded me as I played our kiss in my memory. The way she kissed me was strong yet elegant, a move that was her very own patent.

Lacey and I had broken up that night. I called her on my walk home, still dizzy from the kiss, still dizzy from Jade. I told Lacey it wasn't working, I didn't want commitment, the usual bullshit. She took it well, hiding her disappointment with a joke and a giggle. Then, she got all flustered and said she had to go, and told me she'd see me around. I, of course, never saw her again. THis didn't bother me much; she was nothing special. Cookie-cutter, dime a dozen, choose your cliche. That was Lacey, a normal girl hidden beneath the makeup and metal.

I had worn down the grass under the tree that I had first seen Jade under from pacing, back and forth, back and forth, and I was getting jittery. Sitting down, I pried open my fresh copy of _Ulysses _and tried to make sense of the squiggles on the first page, but my mind wouldn't settle. Hours passed, and still no sign of Jade. I was still on the first page of the book, and I had long since grown restless. _Jade, Jade. _The sky was turning a violent shade of magenta, and I was almost ready to give up for the day when a voice travelled up my spine and rang in my ears.

"So, whatcha doing here Beck?" I spun my head and tried, clumsily, to get to my feet. She was leaning against the tree, arms crossed, her right hand on her face. Her tone wasn't friendly, but not quite condescending. If anything, she was amused. She knew exactly why I was here and she was enjoying it.

"Oh, you know, just hanging out. Getting some reading done," I said, gesturing towards her with the book in my hand. Her eyes flicked downward at the glossy cover, a sticker still covering the author's name. "Great guy this Joyce dude was huh? Ever heard of him?" I gave her a wide smile and nervously ran my fingers through my hair. It was impossible to tell what was going through her mind as she closed her eyes slowly, that perpetual smirk looking up at me around the sides of her palm.

"Cut the crap dude. You and I both know you went out and bought that to impress me. I'm not an idiot, though I'm not sure I can say the same for you," she said, her eyes now open and her eyes scanning quickly over me, assessing me, and seeing right through me, right to the bone. I scoffed awkwardly, my hands making tracks in the back of my hair.

"No, I had no id-" I started to say, but she cut me off. Ivory skin that radiated the color of the sunset flashed before my eyes as she waved her hand in my face.

"Just shut up Beck. Admit you're crazy about me, and I don't know, you can hold my hand or something."

I looked at her for a moment, her expression was indecipherable. Was she still amused? Was she bored?

"Well?" she asked, her voice sharp.

"Ok," I croaked out.

"Ok WHAT?" Exasperated, her arms began a flurry of movement.

"I'm crazy about you."

Stunned and motionless, she stared me down, like a predator, reconsidering whether she wanted to eat her prey.

"I really am. I don't read. You're right, I bought this to impress you. I can't even get through the first page."

"Oh shut the fuck up. You don't even know me. If you say you're crazy about me, you're either a dirty liar or you're even more of an idiot than I thought."

"Im not lying, and I'm not an idiot. There's something different about you, I don't know what it is yet."

She snorted. How was this so funny to her?

"Yet? Yet? What makes you think you'll ever find out? Huh? You think just because you're hot and stupidly charming I'm gonna fall for you like ever other bimbo. Yeah right. I'm out of here," she said, as she spun around ready to leave. Confused and still under her spell, I reached out for her arm. She stiffened up at my touch and gave me a reproachful look.

"What do you think you're doing?"

"You said I could hold your hand." I smiled at her and to this day, I will swear, though Jade will fight to deny it, that I saw a smile slide across her face.

"Ok."

**Author's Note: I'm back… again. No one's impressed huh? Well I bring party hats and pudding for all! So… I'm done making promises on here, since I'm very prone to breaking them. Expect nothing of me! … This is sad. **

**But on a brighter note, I have another Q&A if I have any readers still! Wooooo!**

**The question is, why Bade? What about these characters and their relationship forces you to seek out badly written smut by immature college students such as myself?**

**Give me your answers in the reviews and pray I'll be back before, you know, the series ends, or whatever.**

**Update: Someone mentioned this being out of order. It's not I assure you :) If you've read my story, you know I like to skip around and use flashbacks. I use flashbacks to kinda represent Beck's dreams almost. This is a continuation of his memory/dream from the era when he first met Jade. Sorry for the confusion!**


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: All characters in the following story are the legal property of Dan Schneider, that idea stealing bastard.**

"So."

Jade snapped her eyes up at me.

"So," she replied back, slowly, a wicked grin slicing her face in half. Like a spider reeling in its prey, she grabbed my hand and gently pulled me closer. I kissed her like her breath was elixir, as if her mouth could impregnate me with immortality and vigor, forever. We pulled apart and held each other's gaze.

"Let's do this?"

"We'll fucking destroy it," she breathed back.

Hand in hand, we strutted into the black box like royalty. For a fleeting second, it felt like the old days, before Jade had been dethroned by Tori at Hollywood Arts. Before the jealousy and the drama, before I had almost lost Jade, before she had almost lost herself. She threw her bag to her side casually, nearly missing poor Robbie's head. My mind scrambled to remember the last time I had seen her do that. There was a spark in her, a fire and a will to fight, a desire to be as Jade as possible.

"You're late! Beck, Jade, on stage please," Sikowitz issued, his gaze opposite us, focused on Tori and Cat up on stage. Jade faltered for a moment, looking at me.

"Cat? Who does she play?"

I scanned the script hanging in my left hand.

"Cat plays… Cat. Huh," I said with a laugh. "Creative."

"Oh Tori," Jade hissed with relish. "Well, you're not very subtle are you?"

We marched on stage and at the top of the steps, Jade pulled me into a fierce and claiming kiss. A kiss that flooded my mind with the memory of the day Tori first came into our lives. A kiss that left me aching for more, that found me wanting to forget the crowded room and take her, every part, right there on the stage with the lights burning into our bodies.

"Jade, please if you will begin at the top of page three, where Kirk and Jenny meet, yes? Ok, go!" Tori scurried to the side of the stage, awaiting her cue.

I bolted across the stage, clumsily knocking into Jade.

"Woah! Oh my gosh I'm so sorry!" I made my falsetto voice as high as it possibly could go, and for fun, mimicked Jade's southern belle impression of Tori.

"The fuck's wrong with with you?" Jade bellowed in a manly voice, glaring me down. One glance at her eyes told me she was holding in her laughter just as much as I was.

"Cut, cut!" Sikowitz decreed, waving his arms around. He rose from his seat, and quietly stroked his beard for a moment.

"Jade, um, that's not _quite _the line."

"Oh!" she said in feigned surprise, glancing down at her script. "Well would you look at that! It's not. Well, Tori, sorry for marring such a _beautiful _script. I'm sure I'll get it right this time."

Tori shifted her weight uncomfortably, and fidgeted her arms by her side.

"It's quite alright, Jade. Just try it again," Sikiowitz said, motioning us to begin again. Jade winked at me devilishly. "Your line again Jade."

"Oh it's totally cool. You just spilt coffee on me. No big deal," her faux-deep voice rang as I hastily wiped up the fake spill, scraping my hands against her breasts several times, making them bounce. Light laughter trickled through the room. "And now you're going to try to wipe it up with your sleeve, how genius, that'll surely work."

Sikowitz hung his head and sighing, stood once more. "Jade. You have a remarkable knack for improv and a quite scary talent for doing a man's voice, but you're not good at following scripts today. What's the problem?" His gaze fell on her.

"No problem Sikowitz," Jade said in the sweetest manner that was possible for her. "I'm just having a little…" She cast a furtive glance in Tori's direction. "Fun." I became suddenly aware of her presence, her essence, her. She was relatively small, but seeing her on that stage, staring down Sikowitz with her icy azure glare, I imagined her huge, a storm cloud, a hurricane, enveloping everything and everyone around her. I quickly wondered if everyone was as enchanted with her as I was.

"Why don't we take a little break?" Sikiowitz said, bringing his hands to is temples. Her spell had broken, and left me slightly dazed.

"Everyone, go, leave. Come back in ten minutes. Or fifteen."

Sikowitz leaned against the stage, defeated. Jade, without a word, left the room, to get coffee no doubt. I ambled up to his slumped form, hands in my pockets, picking at the loose threads. Clearing my throat, I began my apology, but was cut short.

"No need Beck. It's actually a little entertaining. I know what you two are trying to do, and it's not going to work. I'm not removing you guys from the cast."

I shot a furrowed look at him, bemused.

"You see, the work our class produces is good. Why? Because everyone has chemistry. When my most trustworthy group splits at the seams, not only does it make things awkward, it makes them shitty. I don't like shitty things Beck. You and Jade need to stop making them shitty. So get over your petty drama and finish the movie. Understood?"

Silently, I swung my foot against the floor, making a scraping sound echo through the empty room. He was right. Not only were we hurting ourselves, we were hurting Cat, Robbie, Andre, and of course Tori. I didn't want to be isolated, as enjoyable as it was at times. I missed our friends, and I knew how much she would scream and protest if I said so, I knew Jade missed them just as much. I just had to find a way to convince her that she did.

"Understood."

**Author's Note: So I'm just going to casually slip back in here and pretend like I was never gone. K? Cool. I really missed writing this story. A lot. And I think I finally know where I want it to go. Possibly. On another note, you know how I remember to spell 'thesaurus?' I think of it as a name of a dinosaur, like the boss of the dinosaurs. You know, **_**THE-saurus. **_**Eh, eh? :) Get it? … Anyway, review, and smile with your beautiful squishy faces, cause I'm back baby!**


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer: I tried to sue Schneider for stealing my ideas, but now I'm buried in court fees. So to pay them off, I'm making my own show which will star David Schwimmer and Beck's abs. It's a drama.**

**I'm kidding.**

** David Schwimmer said no. **

**Well, technically, he said, "Get off my porch or I'm calling the cops."**

"Jade!"

Jade flew by, black clothes whipping behind her like a witch's cloak in a fairytale. She would not stop, not for Tori at least, who was calling her name and chasing after her, her tiny footsteps drowned out by the vicious stomping of black boots.

It was the first time in a long time that Jade felt this enormous swelling, this _feeling. _It wasn't happiness, exactly, but she savored it all the same. It was success, one that relied on no outer source, no one else, just her and her own actions. And it was absolutely _delicious. _

"Jade!" the brunette protested louder, her voice firm. She tried to snatch at Jade's wrist but it merely flew through her fingers like a smoke ring.

"Goddammit Jade! Stop right now and listen to me!" Her voice echoed through the empty halls of Hollywood Arts and caught Jade's ankle, mid-stride. Jade was frozen, right in front of the main staircase. She turned abruptly on her heels and immediately marched back to Tori, and towered over her.

"Ok." She said the world sharply, coldly, as terrifying as she could make it, but to her surprise, Tori didn't budge. Normally, she would be reduced to a quivering puddle at the sound of Jade's voice so close to her, snaking its way down as strands of brown and pink danced on Tori's cheeks. But this time, she was standing just as boldly as Jade, and Jade noted that they were just about the same height.

"What the _hell _is your problem you psychopath? Why do you have to ruin everything for everyone else? I get it. You're bitter, your life sucks, you hate everything, but why does that mean you have to make everyone just as miserable as you? Stop being such a friggin' baby about everything Jade!" Tori's cheeks were flushed as she scolded Jade. Narrowing her eyes, Jade growled at the skinny brunette.

"Stop being a baby? STOP BEING A BABY? Oh well that just makes it so much easier doesn't it? I just have to stop being a baby. Thanks Tori. I've been incredibly lost without your profound advice," she spat at Tori, trying her best to bring herself to full height. Tori's eyes shifted uncomfortably for a second, as if trying to decide something. After a few moments of silence, Jade sneered and began to walk away.

"I don't love Beck!" Tori blurted out, freezing Jade once more. A mirthless laugh exploded from Jade's chest.

"You have got to be kidding me Vega!" She turned at the final word. "I'm not a fucking idiot. A monkey could understand that transparent script. Your uncontrollable love, your romantic sacrifice. It makes me want to puke. Literally, I want to vomit every time I read it. Here's a hint. Stick to mindlessly singing everyone else's lyrics on stage, because your writing is shit."

Tori stammered, her hands grasping feebly in front of her as if groping for words to stuff into her mouth. She finally sighed instead and looking down and grabbing at her temples, she finally spoke.

"Listen Jade. Please… please. I am begging. Would you please just hear me out? I know you're smart (Jade smirked at the compliment), so if you'll let me talk, uninterrupted, I'll tell you everything, the TRUTH. There really is more to it than you know. Give me five minutes. That's all I ask." Tori finished, imploring Jade with a glossy look in her eyes. They weren't puppy eyes, they weren't the eyes of someone trying to get their way. Jade groaned, as she realized that Tori truly wanted to get something through to her, even though she knew it was going to be some dumb excuse, some comedy of errors, that led to the humiliating script being displayed in front of everyone. But she was feeling powerful, and somehow merciful.

"Fine," Jade groaned again, throwing her head back. "Five minutes. Seriously Vega. I'm timing you." She swung herself over to the steps and sat down. She gestured, annoyed, signaling Tori to get on with it.

"OK…" Tori breathed, twisting her hands together. "Well, there's one thing you have right. I _did _have a crush on Beck, when I first got here. And that script _is _about um… moments, I guess, between us." Jade was rolling her eyes.

"But, I kind of lost interest in him after like a week. It helped a little that he had you for a girlfriend, but I also kind of fell for someone else too." She was growing more nervous by the second, twisting her hands, repeatedly, over themselves like some sort of acrobat.

"Who?" Jade piped up, surprised at her own curiosity. She furrowed her brow at her words.

"That's not important," Tori said, shaking her hands, blurring them for a second. "Let's just say, I care a lot about this person. Beck is my friend. I honestly, truly, 100%, don't see him that way." Tori began to notice the anger glowing through Jade. Disbelief was broadcasted within her features. "But-" Tori trailed off.

"But?" Jade said, annoyed.

"Someone does love Beck. Someone you know." Tori's eyes finally met Jade's.

Jade, caught off guard, said nothing. Her eyes widened slightly as she stared right back at Tori.

"Who?" She finally asked after a few moment's silence. She was completely baffled. Her mind could not grasp that anyone else but Tori was in love with her boyfriend. Random, anonymous skanks sure. But Tori had said it was someone she knew. She racked her brain. Again. Once more. She could come up with no one. She had been so focused on protecting her relationship from Tori that she had completely blocked out everyone else. She had forgotten that there were girls (and guys for that matter) everywhere who would kill to just snake their arms around her Beck, her precious gem, and snatch him away in the blink of an eye

Tori sighed.

"It's Cat."

**Author's Note: I KNOW right? Honestly, I had no idea this story was going to end up here. But I've had about five beers and it seems like a good idea right now so hey, why not? I've been so inspired to write lately. I'm also on break and they've been playing A Christmas Tori like, daily. These things are all related. Also, I'm starting to sympathize (slightly) with Tori. I know, it's a Christmas miracle. She still bugs me but I think I can probably get on board with her character now. **

**Uh oh, is Rachel Going to start writing Jori stories?**

**Probably.**

**Probably.**

**Please review, everyone adopts a kitten when you do :) And it also gets me off my lazy butt and inspires me to write.**

**Update: Seven beers. Five makes me sound like a lightweight. So seven. And like a whole keg. Yeah.**


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. My life's so sad. :'(**

I was standing by the doorway of the blackbox theater, hot cup of coffee in one hand and my sleek PearPhone in the other. Sending out my third text to Jade, I took a sip of the caramel colored liquid. Sweet, almost scalding, a hint of cinnamon as it slithered down my throat. She had always made fun of me for my preference in coffee, calling it "girly" and saying it was sad that she was sometimes more manly than me. Then, I'd always prove just how manly I was, wrestling her down, pinning her, and ravishing her until she was breathless. I shook my head, trying to clear my head. _Not here, _I told myself. _Not now._ I'd wait until later in the evening when we were curled under covers and behind the locked door of my RV. I recalled the one time I had convinced her to make a tent with me in there. I had pulled her by arm and swung her into my arms and we had stayed there until dawn.

I was about to send her another message, asking where she had disappeared to when my ears picked up the faint sound of heavy footfalls. She suddenly came barreling around the corner, hair flying and her face a blur. There was a tight squeeze on my wrist and without a word, without a sound, she pulled me flying behind her.

"Jade?" I inquired, but she remained silent. I could see the janitor's closet right ahead of her and just as quickly as I had spotted it, we were inside it. Jade slammed the door behind her and leaned on it heavily, sighing. Her eyes rose slowly and I recognized the glassy look in them immediately. Lust shone through her heavy, ebony eyelids. I closed the distance between us in one step and I wrapped my arms around her hips, dragging her up closer to me. A gush of air flew from her mouth and blew through the hair on my neck. I placed my lips against hers and soon, we were in a passionate, almost violent struggle, as if both of us were trying to claim the other with our mouths. Her hands danced everywhere, in my hair, down my neck, my spine. It was almost as if she were boiling over, as if there was so much emotion and want (no, _need) _that her small body couldn't handle it. I moved my mouth downwards, sucking on her neck and her collarbone, drawing out breathy little moans.

Her hands traveled further down, scratching and rubbing at the zipper of my jeans. WIthout warning, I ripped open her black button-up shirt, a few buttons flying into the corners.

"Beck!" she cried, but there was no anger in her voice. It was just an empty exclamation, another way to force this rattling energy she had out into the open. I pushed her against the wall, balancing her ass on my knee, and undid her bra. Before it had even fallen to the floor, my mouth was on her breast, biting at the pale flesh. Another groan, louder this time, rang from her throat and she clawed at me even more ferociously. My teeth caught at her nipple and I tugged at it roughly, but not enough to break skin. I dashed my eyes up at her to see her chewing on her lip.

"Beck…" she began to whine. "Beck, stop teasing, please." She was begging. For once I was the one smirking up at her. I reached down and in one quick motion, undid her pants. I slid my hand carefully in, brushing my finger against her clit through her already soaked panties. It was a little strange, I began to realize once I started to slow down. She was always ready to go at a moment's notice, sure. And we had been known to sneak around Hollywood Arts and pull off a quick one in closets and hallways. But this, this was different. She had nearly attacked me with unbridled sexuality. I had seen her, not even ten minutes before, completely normal. I pushed against her with my index finger, eliciting another moan from her.

_What had caused the sudden change? _I slipped my hand into her panties and spread her apart with my fingers. She quivered against me, clutching at my shirt. _Why was she in such desperate need?_

Two of my fingers found their way within her and rocked slowly against her. Small whines were tearing at her throat and she bit even harder at her lip to keep them down. I withdrew them a few seconds later to Jade's whimper.

"Beck," she breathed out. She reached forward and undid my jeans. I pushed her harder against the wall as I slid hers off. She tugged at my boxers, freeing my cock from the fabric. I looked up into her eyes, shimmering with lust and frustration and a second later, I thrust myself into her. I pinned her arms above her hands and her hands fell forward, dangling from the wall. I kept going. Faster, faster. Until she was nearly screaming. Until I had to clap my hand against her mouth to keep her voice from breaking through the door of the closet and echoing down the halls. I kept going until we were both satisfied and exhausted.

* * *

"So, you wanna tell me what the was about?" I asked as I slipped back into my jeans. She was putting her shirt back on and she made a face at the missing buttons.

"You broke my shirt," she said, slight annoyance cutting its way back into her voice. She was still calm, however, and flipped her hair back and looked at me.

"I just… needed it," she said with a smirk. I rose an eyebrow at her. She threw her hair forward and began to comb through it with her fingers.

"I don't understand. What happened in the ten minutes I didn't see you that turned you from normal into some lusty sex goddess? Not that I mind, of course," I added quickly as she scowled up at me through a curtain of brown and blue tangles. She threw her back again and sighed.

"Nothing, I just had a little talk with someone and I realized something." She picked at her nails as she said this, dividing her attention between them and me.

"What's that?" I asked, running my fingers through my own mess of hair.

"I'm lucky." She smiled up at me sincerely. No sarcasm, no trick, no hidden punchline. Jade was expressing gratitude. I grinned widely, and leaned in to kiss her again. She broke away from me after a few seconds, her smile gone as she turned to the side.

"You ok?" My hand slid up and down her arm.

She nodded. Her eyes were locked on her boots.

"We should go back," she said evenly. I looked at her, puzzled but nodded.

"Yeah, we probably should," I said as I wrapped my arm around her and pushed open the door to the janitor's closet. I noticed the window was a bit steamy and laughed inwardly.

**Author's Note: Yeah, it took me awhile to remember this story was rated M and I realized it's been like, I dunno, 100 chapters since there was any sex at all! Also, I kind of need to get laid myself so there's that….**

**I keed, I keed! Y'all don't need to know about my sex life! **

**Anyway, review, and let me know how you liked it. What about finding out about Cat made Jade get all lusty you ask? We'll see ;**


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